Health Tips for an orphan

For the past two weeks I thought I was having a heart attack. My chest hurt and I couldn't sleep at night. My heart wouldn't slow down. Turns out I was having panic attacks. And I also had high blood pressure. Now I am much better but I wanted to let you guys know since it scared the crap out of me.

1. Reduce your sodium. Sodium increases your blood pressure. Avoid salt. I threw out ALL of my salt.

2. Increase potassium. A quick way to reduce your sodium is to take more potassium. Sloppy poo is a sign that you aren't getting enough potassium. Eat some bananas, kidney beans, and salmon. Google some other foods that are high in potassium. After three days of eatting some bananas and kidney beans I can finally sleep and my chest stopped hurting.

3. Drink Milk. Cheese has more sodium so drink milk to get your calcium.

4. Eat Salmon. That stuff is great for your heart. Oatmeal is very good for your heart too. I hate the stuff but its better than feeling like you are about to die.

5. Don't smoke. Duh. Just letting you know. Smoking really hurts your heart.

Once I found out about all this I went grocery shopping on my lunch break. I got some bananas, salmon, and kidney beans. Lettuce is better than cabbage even though I love cabbage. Yogurt is good source of potassium too and it is good for females and their private areas. I took a sick day off from work. I think my boss definitely was contributing to the stress. My chest still hurts a little when I think about him.

Also if you are really worried and are having chest pains call 911. I didn't because I would rather die that pay for an ambulance. Shit how much can an orphan take?

PLUS: Emma says physical exercise helps. Yes, I know. I need to do that more.