A Place for Orphans to meet Friends

Now you guys aren't gonna believe this. But I have found a place where I can go and it can become like a family. You can make friends, people look out for each other and you end up having some of the best times! Its not a church, its not a school but those both can be fun too!

ready?

Its a bar or night club! Yes really. Especially for those female orphans.

Now I don't drink but I recently started going to a local bar with a friend from high school. I just drink soda (which should be free) and tip about a dollar per drink to keep the bartenders happy. The bartenders will also look out for you and make sure no weird drunk guys bother you. After going there about once a week for a few weeks you people start to recognize you and you make friends. It becomes more like a family almost and you feel comfortable there. Like a second home.

And some of the funnest things happen there and you meet the neatest people. Just last night I met a guy who lost his arm in the war and had a hook for an arm. The first night I went there was vomit in the bathroom. There was break dancing in the lobby last week. And since its a bar, you can be or say anything you want. People always ask me my name and where I am from. I could lie and say my name is Marilyn and I am from Las Vegas and just make up a bunch of shit.

It reminds me of when I was in college I would wonder around the art building in my free time. I had gone there for about 5 years and I knew all the students and the teachers and I felt like I belonged and it was just a nice place to hang out.

There are times when I go to the bar and its like "I love this! I wish I had tried this sooner"! Some bartenders are really friendly and will look out for you. Some are very flirty and will flirt for tips. But I think thats just what a female orphan needs eery now and then. Some nice attention but you know it ain't gonna get too serious.

So there. I live in this town. The people are stupid, back-stabbing and heartless. But when I go to that club....I am welcome and I have friends and I love it! When I go there I honestly feel the happiest I have ever felt since my mom died. Its like a drug that doesn't cost much at all.

This is what I have been looking for for you guys! A haven. A place to relax, fit in, and make friends. A place to have fun and feel normal. A place to spend the holidays, and partake in fun events!

Every bar or club is different. Find one that you feel comfortable with. Go with a friend the first time. You don't have to drink. I just drink water or soda. Hang out at the bar and talk with you bartender. Some of them are the best people you will meet. Very friendly and kind. Almost like a low-budget therapist. And don't forget to tip. A family like this is priceless.

Love you guys! So glad this blog has help you! Feel free to add The Orphan Handbook on Facebook. Stay strong and NEVER give up!

Orphans Need Friends

Recently I have found that obtaining friends is vital in an orphans life. People who have families take friends for granted and make them easily. Try to make friends this week. Go out to an event or something or call up an old friend from high school or something. An orphan needs friends. Also...Yesterday was my moms Birthday! I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to talk about it! I wanted to do something to make her proud and have that be her present. So here I made a Facebook fan page for the Orphan Handbook. Facebook can also kinda help is making friends. But no totally. I have had my fair share of "unfriending" on Facebook. So don't take things too personally and stay strong. Orphan Handbook on Facebook is here

Dying dad that you never met

Tough times. Just found out that my dad who I have never met is in the hospital...they think he may not make it. Its a weird feeling. Some distant relatives who i barely know were nice enough to let me know. I feel sad and kinda happy. I kinda wish I could go see him but I know he probably doesn't want what. I hope he is relatively happy. I think he did what he wanted to do in life. Sometimes not really knowing someone is best...then you can think anything you want about them. Its when you really know someone for who they are is when you could really hate them. I wrote him a letter a few years ago. I dunno if he got it. It said that I forgive him and that he can talk to me anytime if he wants. I never heard back. I never expected him to welcome me with open arms...I know how men are. I hope to use this to help others who may be in similar situations. Its tough. I cry. I wonder what my dead mom would think or say. What will things be like after he is gone? Will life somehow be easier? Will it be harder? Will it be the same? Will I feel relief? Will his ghost visit me? Will I be angry that I never got to meet him? Will I regret not visit him or trying harder to find him? It sucks how few people understand us and what we go through. But I think it helps to blog when there are tough times. And let others know they are not alone. Its stupid because I want to go to his funeral...not out of spite but because I may feel more complete and or normal and also I get to "meet" him. I have been wanting to write more on here. I hope to more in the future. Stay strong and remember I think about you guys whenever I have hard times. I think "I can't give up...I must find an easier way of life for us so it will be easier for them". Remember to live your life in a way that would make your parents proud. And never let the closed minded normal people get you down. There is nothing wrong with you because you miss your parents or because life is more difficult for you. Just means you are normal really.

Advice for female orphans. Part 2

Stay independent. I know when you are on your own you really want someone to take care of your etc. But you don't want to be trapped or taken advantage of. Even if you do get married always have a place you can go if things go bad. Like a friend or even a second apartment.

Most normal women can always visit their parents. But you don't. The last thing you need is a boyfriend or husband threatening to throw you out.

1. Always have your own apartment.

2. Never move in with a guy. Stay independent.

3. Earn your own money and save in case of emergency.

Remember that you deserve better.

Advice for female orphans!

Men now a days are crap. You can never depend on one to marry you and take care of you. No matter how well you treat them. It almost seems that because I am an orphan, men are even more reluctant to marry me. They my have even more pressure to take care of me or they may feel like they can treat me like shit since I have no dad to stick up for me and say" hey, marry my daughter!".

Plus we deserve better than constantly living in fear...wondering what the future holds...will we get married? who will pay for the wedding? Is he cheating? etc. So I think we should take control. Become more independent and don't take certain things so seriously.

If he isn't gonna save up to buy you an engagement ring...then start saving up for when he leaves you or you leave him. Start your own business. Earn your own money. And if he isn't thinking about marriage....who cares? You are earning your own money and can take care of your own ass!

I know its not necessarily what we want but I think its what will work best. So many guys want to take the easy road...live with mom, not work, not do anything with their life, date a girl for years while keeping other girlfriends a secret and avoid marriage and commitment. Well, we female orphans got more balls.

I'm already earning my own money on my etsy shop and saving up for a macbook air. And just saving in general. I hope to start designing clothes and have it become really successful. Of course we have all thought of how nice it would be to have a family and a caring hubby. Well, men just aren't that way. But now imagine if you had more money than you knew what to do with. You wouldn't need a man. No one would control you. Buy your own clothes, dress the way you want, go out with friends, no fear of being cheated on, no fear of divorce, no fear of being homeless, no fear of food stamps. YOu would be a princess.

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.” ― Lady Gaga

So if a guy isn't thinking like a real man...that is my plan.