Sunday, August 22, 2010

Money advice for Orphans

Don't let someone rip you off. You know how you will be at fast food restaurant and they will suggestive sell? Like ask if you want a cookie with that or a drink. They may be making sure they have the order right but it is also known as suggestive selling.

But restaurants aren't the only ones who do this. Mechanics also do this. They suggest that your air filter be replaced or your wipers etc. The air filter may actually need to be replaced but you don't know that. It may be just fine and they want some extra money out of you. So don't always say yes. Don't always trust them. Do your research on how often your air filter etc need to be replaced. And check your wiper blades before you get an oil change so you know what condition they are in. I use mine til they are just a rubber string on a stick.

Also doctors will do this too. Just an extra blood test and then another appointment to follow up and you go in and he says everything is fine. You just paid for a doctors appointment you didn't need. Do you research if you are sick. Eat healthy. It makes me so mad when they need more money and they suggest things that I don't need. If you have a problem will know it. I only go to see the doc if I need a refill on my meds and THEN I take a blood test to make sure everything is okay. Then I won't have to go til another 6 months which is better than having to go every month for no reason.

Don't let these people take advantage of you. Most people can just ask their parents for advice. But we can't. And we can't keep being ripped off by idiots.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Donate to Red Cross

I just donated to

This is just a reminder that there are have been floods in Pakistan and people need help. Build up some good karma and help fellow orphans. Go donate. You wouldn't want your parents swept away by flood waters. And if it did happen, i'm sure you would want someone to help you. It doesn't matter where you are from. We are all human and we should help each other.

You can donate to a specific cause or to whatever need is the greatest. Minimun donation of $10.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

An Orphans thoughts on God...and religion

We each live different lives. Some lives tend to have a higher demand for God while other lives tend to find God useless. When things go fine in ones life they never tend to think about God. But then when things go wrong we either get mad at God or ask Him for help.

I'm sure we all also wonder why God lets shit happen in this world.

Here are my thoughts on God and religion:

I think I knew that mom was gonna die. At a very young age I asked mom how the grow ups survive? How do they pay all those bills? She said that I shouldn't worry..that it won't happen for a long time. Well, she was wrong. I had dreams about mom dying before she was even diagnosed. I think that proves that there are more spiritual things going on that we even realize. And that there is God and spirits and more than just science in this world.

No matter what happens I refuse to be mad at God. I will wait until I die and then ask "what was all that?" Hopefully He will have a completely logical explanation. If He doesn't...then I will be upset. But I don't think it is possible for God to create a human that thinks more logically than He. So if I think that there must be some reason behind all this...then God must think so too. How could God be more stupid than I am. A creator cannot create something greater than the creator.

I never really thought about God before mom died. After mom died I moved in with Christian relatives. I think with Christianity there are two parts...there is the acting, dressing, taking etc like a Christian. (the Christian lifestyle if you will) and then there is the "you and God" part. No matter how hard I tried to say the right words or dress a certain way...the Christians still didn't accept me. they still said I was evil and has evil spirits etc. Finally after years or trying I realized a lot of Christians are crazy. They do not think for themselves. They are stuck in their own world. How could they call me a whore when I was a virgin? How could I be going to hell for liking boys? Its all just a game of keeping up appearances. They need to read between the lines when they read the Bible. But what is most important is the other part....the "you and God" part. Who cares about what people think? They haven't been what you have been through. God knows though. God knows if I an a whore or not. If God thinks I am a whore fine. God knows your heart. Those fake Christians don't. Just because your parents are dead doesn't mean you are going to hell.

I still talk and pray to God. He is all I have. He isn't anything like those judging hateful Christians. The Christians can't help you. God can.

I wasted so much time trying to please the Christians. I should have just been myself and known that God accepts me no matter what. God have us all our own choices. If we were meant to be prefect he wouldn't have given us freedom of choice and He wouldn't have had Jesus die for our mistakes.

Trust no one except God. He has hlped me when I had no electricity. I emailed my aunt to pray for me and she never replied. But I prayed to God and everything was taken care of.

Its like how we can't see our parents anymore...but we know they exist in some other form otherwise how would we be here. They were once alive and brought us into this world. We can't see God but He must exist somewhere in some form. We have faith that our parents are somewhere and we have faith that God is somewhere.

And things take time. When you order fries at a restaurant they take time to cook. When you pray it takes time for things to get into order. Everything takes time. Everything. Nothing is instantaneous. So try not to get mad at God. If people were more caring, then our tragedies wouldn't be as difficult. THings are difficult in life because people don't care about others in pain. If everyone tried to help everyone then pain and problems would be irrelevant. And then there is no point is being mad at God.

Maybe thats why bad things happen...because if people would be more caring then it would be okay. But that fact that people don't care makes life so much more difficult when bad things happen. Maybe God lets bad things happen in hopes of people reaching out and helping those in need. Like maybe God let my mom go so I can write thing blog and help others. And then you can help others. God didn't want to create humanity and have it become evil and useless. We are so much more capable.

So screw religion..its just a game of keeping up appearances.
Don't get mad at God until that last minute.
Help others.
Think for yourself.
God knows one else really knows you except you and Him.

Hope this helped you guys.

Going back

My life has two parts. There is the part before my mom died. I was happy then. Free. I listened to any music I wanted. Love horror films and I really looked up to my goth sister.

Then there is the part after my mom died. When I was put into a christian home and controlled and judged. I tried to fit in but no matter how hard I tried I was always the black sheep.

It feels like just 5 minutes ago mom died. and I am still trying to adjust to this shitty oklahoma bible belt life.

But lately I have been listening to the music I used to listen to before mom died. Music is like a time machine. It takes you back. Now it feels like I am back in the fits part of my life. Like mom and I turned around and went back home.

This is a great discovery. It feels like I have my old life back. A happy life.

Now I want to study my old self and go back to being like her. The movies my sister and I used to watch, the music we used to listen to. Sadly my sister no longer talks to me. She is a Christian now. I think she was a better person before she became a fake Christian.

I tried to adjust and make a new life after mom died...but I realize I need to go back to the way things were before.