Friday, July 30, 2010

Orphan tips on Trust

A suggested topic was "learning to trust". Of course we would like to think it would be healthy to learn to trust....but from my past experience you cannot trust anyone. Sometimes you can't even trust yourself.

Other people have familes to go to for help if there is a problem. But we do not. There have been times when I thought a friend would be there for me or help me etc. but then they would just do what they wanted and not help me. lame.

Its like with my move to NYC. I am having a few friends come with me. They want a one-bedroom but there is no garuntee they will get jobs fast enough that pay enough. Trusting is being dependant on someone for help. You cannot do that. So instead of running the rish of running out of money. I will get a studio and they can live with me if they want for a year and then we save money and get jobs for a better place. Now I am in control of the situation. I am not dependant on them.

When you trust someone and you are an orphan you run the risk of losing everything.

Learn to look out for yourself and don't let anyone take advantage of you.

I can't have a boss who threatens to fire me without notice. As an orphan I need job security. And there are more jobs in NYC than where I am now.

Dave Navarro, former guitarist of Jane's Addiction, lost his mom when he was 15. She was murdered. He has a tattoo that says "Trust No One". I completely understand.

Only trust yourself. That way you are in control. Be independant, not dependant on others.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Minimalist Wardrobe for Men

I wanted to show you guys this post. You can also check out the post before it. Its from the Everyday Minimalist Blog and the post is about what guys should wear. I think this is a good post for you guys who want to look more attractive and be the best they can be. Its just clothes. Why not dress nice?
Click here for the article. Some hot guys right here. This is what I hope to meet in NYC.


Summer Survival Tips for Orphans

No holidays for a while. So we can relax. But be careful Crap can happen in the summer time.

1. Stay cool. Drink lots of water. A headache can be a sign of dehydration.

2. Stay in. If you go out wear sunblock. But I recomend staying in. Drivers tend to drive fast in the summer and more car wrecks happen the hotter it is out.

3. Relax indoors. I know it may get lonely during the summer. But stay inside, read a book, clean, watch some movies. Or hang with a friend.

4. Use a fan instead of the air conditioner. The fan uses less electricity. I just paid my power bill and it was $18. Sweet! I only use the AC when it gets too hot. I turn it on for a few minutes to cool the place down then I go back to using only the fan. I got it for about $10 at wal-mart and I have it run at night. Nice and quite. And it doesn't blow dust like some AC systems do.

5. Keep a flash light handy incase you lose power. Storms happen a lot in the summer time.

6. Keep a tray of ice cubes in the freezer. This will also help if you lose power. You can use them to stay cool or melt it to drink it you lose water.

7. Walk around in your underwear. Yay! Just my way of staying cool.

8. If your car is over heating take it to a mechanic right away. Roll down the windows and turn the heat on. This will pull the heat away from the engine causing it to cool down a bit. You may need more coolant. Do not try to open the hood of your car if it is over heating. It will be hot and burn you. If smoke is coming out of the hood of your car pull over and call 911.

9. Driving with the air conditioning on makes the engine work harder and uses up gas faster. Drive the speed limit to save gas. People with parents will be speeding like idiots. Don't be like them. Save gas and drive safely. This will save you money and make your life easier.

10. Take showers regularly. Summer makes you sweat more and you will be more prone to zits.

So have fun, stay safe and be yourself. ORPHAN POWAH!!!

Friday, July 23, 2010

We Don't Fit In - Update

I hate hearing other people talk about their families. All the yever talk about it relatives and family gatherings. I am so sick of it. They live in their own little paradise. I always have to think about trying to survive. The hope of ever having a family is gone.

I got rid of my tv and my DVD player. I am still minimizing my belongings so I can move to NY and not have to be ripped off by mechanics or have to deal with a car. I don't know much about cars. I have no dad to ask. No boyfriend to help. Plus, there are more jobs in NY. If I get fired without notice I have no family to move in with.
And NYC isn't really a place where families gather. Everyone is on their own and working. I don't have to see some van pull into a neighborhood with large houses. People with parents are so spoiled. Typical Americans.

All orphans need to do what they can to make life eaiser. Thats what this entire blog is about. Coping, grieving and learning.

A year ago my car overheated. The mechanic told me the coolant was leaking. I had no damn clue what that meant...and no dad or relative to ask. I figured the air conditioner would just stop working. No. The coolant keeps the engine cool and if the engine over heats the car shakes and the radiator cracks and the car is unrepairable. Well stupid jerk mechanic didn't get his money. If he had told me how important it was to fix the coolant leak he could have gotten to fix it. But now I got a new car and am making payments on that.

When the mechanic told me how much it would cost to fix whatever the hek on my car it was about $2,000 and I cried. I told him I would call him back and I cried. No help. No family. I went to my boss and cried. He said he would take me to get a new car the next day. We didn't go until a few days later. It was difficult cus I had no credit and I needed a co-signer which if I had parents they would be the co-signer. A co-signer is someone who agrees to help you make payments if you have trouble.

I was never told to rotate the tires. Rotating tires helps your tires last longer. I was never taught to do that so I would have to get a new tire at least once a month. But the guys that I bought the car from told me I need to get the tires rotated. The tires lasted longer but they make a wierd noise...most likely cus they haven't been rotated in a long time but I still think they screwed up something. So sick of men making my life difficult.

So I am moving to NYC. And I won't have to deal with cars. I can ride the damn bus or subway. And more jobs means I don't have to live in fear of being fired without notice. I don't have to sit at the computer looking up suicide hotline numbers just because my boss just yelled at me and I am afraid I might lose my job.

And less families around. In NYC everyone is concerned about money and surviving. I also bet people are a lot smarter in NYC. I swear when the weather gets colder I am spending lunch in my car.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I Hate Being An Orphan

There are so many problems that come with being and orphan. Everyday we are surrounded by people that we cannot relate to and cannot relate to us.

Some things that made being an orphan overall easier:

1. Friends. You need friends. Make friends as soon as you can. And stay in touch. Make sure they are good friends that care about you and can be trusted. You will need friends to hang out with on holidays and to help you move etc. Friends are your lifeline.

2. Save money. Save money at all costs. You don't have an family to throw money at you. You must earn it and save it. Anything can happen. You never know when you will need some extra money to survive. Money will help you stay stable and in control. It will help feed you, clothe you and help you if you need to move etc.

3. Be minimal. I have found that living a minimalist lifestyle will help reduce stress and save money and it will also be easier if you need to move. Don't own anything you can't carry yourself. Don't own too many clothes. Own just the basics and a few treats to keep you happy.

4. Stay motivated. Keep going in life. Have goals you want to achieve. Never give up. Do things in your life. Travel, work, learn things. Be free! When you get bored with your life then you become sad and things become dangerous. Accomplish things in your life and make your parents proud.

5. Look out for yourself. Use your brain. Don't trust just anyone. Plan ahead in life. Make wise decisions. Don't depend completely on other people. They will take advantage of you. You can't control people but you can control yourself and your decisions. If you don't like the way things something. Nothing is holding you back. Travel, get a new job if you have money saved up. Change your world before you change the world.

This has been a kinda lonely weekend for me. Wishing I had friends to hang out with. Been here since mom died. My guardian never allowed to have friends when I was a teen. I got rid of my radio and my tv this weekend. Just got my laptop. Nice and simple and free. Feels like college. I also got a $18 electricity bill because I unplug everything when I don't use it.

Stay strong and never give up!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Tips for female orphans

Don't own anything you can't carry yourself.

1. Don't own a large TV. Get a small tv.

2. Microwaves can be heavy. Take it to a recycling center and just use the stove.

3. Use a laptop instead of a big computer. You can also watch movies and video clips on your laptop. So the laptop doubles as a TV.

4. Matresses can be heavy. Once I get to NYC I will only use a futon matress. No more big matress to deal with. Plus they are hard to get rid of.

5. By owning things that you CAN carry, moving will be easier since you can carry everything and aren't dependant on others for help.

Minimalism really makes an orphans life easier. Especially if you are on your own.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Fear of Sabotaging Relationships

Suggested post. Lately I have been trying to get relationships to work out by not telling too much about my orphanhood. Of course I fear rejection and ruining things. We have learned that relationships are vital.

Everyone should try their best to keep the relationship alive but if it isn't worth it then don't bother.

I have always wanted to believe that I could be loved for who I am and not have to try to be loved by looking a certain way or talk a certain way etc. I don't think its true anymore. Everyone is so fake and picky.

But if I become fake to have someone love me then I won't be happy.

If someone isn't gonna love you for who you are then forget them. You should be able to be yourself if you want. But keep in mind that some people may not want someone who has a mullet or plays video games all the time. In every relationship there is some compromise.

I guy shouldn't break up with me cus my mom is dead or I have googly eyes on my phone or cus I like cartoons. But if I am bitchy or lazy I understand him not wanting me.

I think one of the most important things about relationships is to calm down. Don't freak out even if there is a break up.

Its normal to care about a relationship and keeping someone but it becomes a problem when we freak out when we think it may end. Then we show signs of being clingy and desperate and then the relationship does end.

With each breakup you learn. I have learned to not bitch, be positive, don't always talk about dead people, don't move in with him too soon, make sure he doesn't have anger problems, don't believe him when he says I love you, don't tell him everything about you, make sure he isn't married etc.

Its not good to be completely dependant on having a relationship with someone. You must be independant. Take care of yourself or someone may take advantage of you.

I don't have all the answers in this area. I am still working on this area of my life. I can only give small bits of advice.

Clam down, don't freak out and try to think things through. Be independant and look out for yourself. Think logically when there is a problem in a relationship. Don't make 5 million phone calls. Don't cry, don't drink, do turn to drugs, don't think suicide. Be yourself. Then you will be confident and happy and then people will want to stay with you. Do you really want to spend your whole life trying to be "perfect"? Life is too damn short and we orphans have already been through too much crap and drama.

Don't be clingy. Be able to spend sometime apart. Show that you are emotionally stable. Spending time apart makes the two of you want to be together more. Its called missing someone. Crying makes you look emotionally unstable. Just chill.

Feel free to comment and I will start on a part 2 if need be. Fear of commitment is coming soon.

Fear of Commitment in Relationships

This was a suggested post. I have had many relationships and none have really worked out. I wonder why a lot of the time. Was it me?

I think people are just too spoiled and picky. And as a result I have become picky. When I was a yound teen I wanted to be in a commited relatioship and to get married. I wanted to be taken care of because I knew that things would be much easier if I has someone to look out for me. But since I have been hurt so much and alone for so long I have been forced to look out for myself and be very independant.

Now to commit to someone means being controled by them or taken advantage of. When I am single I can earn my own money and spend my own money. I can dress any way I want and go anywhere I want etc.

I don't like it when I meet a guy and he asks if I plan to have kids or get married. How terrible to be tied down like that.

Most guys don't stick around for very long. Now neither do I. I am just looking out for myself. I just get tired of being hurt. Tired of trying.

Be yourself. Have fun. Look out for yourself. If you want to be a loner then be a loner. Don't let anyone control you. This is your life. Everyone fears being hurt.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Orphan Weddings

orphan weddings & orphan attendance at other people's weddings

This is a suggested topic. First of all I recently HAD to attend a wedding. I usually don't cus I get jealous easily and its family type event. But it was my bosses daughters wedding.

Most people cry at weddings. But I cried for a different reason. Knowing I will never have a father to walk me down the isle. No family on my side of the church. And also my aunt has really ruined my social life and I may never get married. I try to avoid weddings. I say I only attend funerals. Which is funny cus I have never been to a funeral either.

the good thing about attending a friends wedding is...if you ever get married you can ask them to be a part of it.

I really didn't want to attend that wedding. But my bosses boss said it would be inappropriate. Well she doesn't know that I am an orphan. Its funny cus every time she is mean to me a relative of hers gets sick or dies.

I know as a female orphan I may never have a normal wedding if at all. An orphan male needs no family members to have a wedding. He uses his brides as far as I know.

But for a female orphan there is no father to walk us down the isle and no mother to help plan. It sucks. Personally I will elope. I will just get legally married and run away with him. Screw weddings. Its a waste of money. Too much stress too. Plus there is just a lot about weddings I don't know about since I have no family.

If you are an orphan female and still want to have a wedding. I suggest you try to get friends to help.

I know its just lame. You wake up every damn morning and remember that you are an orphan and that things are different for you. Just remember that just cus someone has a wedding doesn't mean that they are loved, it doesn't mean that it will last, and it doesn't mean that they are better than you. Most of the time it doesn't mean anything. Its really sucks when an orphan goes through a divorce too. No family to move back to. Look out for yourself and don't be dependent on others.

A wedding is just a wedding. They come and go. But being loved doesn't cost anything and it lasts. Or at least its supposed to.

Never give up

Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you just can accomplish what you want.

I thought "Its like chasing the wind. How does one run with the wind? "

Then I realized. One runs with the wind by flying. They use what they can't catch to push them forward.

I am always thinking of ideas to fix my problems. And I rarely ever give up. Life can't be this hard. There has to be a way.

Do birds ever wonder what its like the always be walking on the ground?

Orphans wonder what its like to have a normal life.

People always wonder what its like to fly.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Boy advice for Girls: If you messed up be a Unicorn

I am writing this as I learn. I am still not a pro. I promise to write on other subjects as well. But this post goes along with the one before it. The BE CONFIDENT one. But what if you messed up. How to get him back? It it over? have you lost your chance completely.

1. If you are considered maybe safe. But he may think you are weird now.

2. Friends can get second chances.

3. Stay friends.

4. Friends aren't needy and don't stalk or beg to be dated.

5. Try not texting him or calling him. You want him to forget that last bad impression. But maybe he will think about you and text you. You may have screwed up on the acting confident in public part....but we can be a pro at being confident elsewhere. I have found that he will eventually text me. Actually after the party I was leaving and he said to text him. Funny cus I was thinking of never texting him again.

6. Not contacting him making him think you are talking to other people. He may check your twitter to see what you are up to so don't tweet about how you messed up with him. Tweet about how you are having such a nice day. Make him think you are having fun elsewhere. Kinda like at that concert but instead I just sat there which is the same as texting him constantly at home. DON'T keep calling him begging him to get back with you or hang out. I have found out that the guys I harass and try to get back with never come back. But if I let them go (usually cus I am not interested) they ALWAYS come back. Sometimes its a month later....sometimes a year or more later. They find you on and ask how you are doing etc.

7. Plan your second chance. Yes I dressed really cute. But I need to remember to stand up straight. Maybe bring some friends along to talk to. Bring friends you laugh a lot with.

8. People can never hear me at concerts. My voice is so high. So I thought maybe I could go around saying random shit cus no one will ever understand me anyways and laugh and move on to another person.

9. Take your mind off the mess up. Learn from your mistakes.

10. One big mistake I made was I left the rave early. But when I got home he called saying he was on his way to the concert. I told him I had just gone home. By driving back to the concert makes me seem desperate. I should have lied or never left the concert.

Be a unicorn. A fun beautiful creature that is hard to get, confident and has a life.

Boy Advice for Girls: BE CONFIDENT

Welp. Remember it is extremely important to seem confident and fun and happy. Last night I went to a rave. I looked extra cute but I was tired and timid. I forgot to smile and mingle. I ruined my second impression.

It would have been best for me to g around talking to people and smile so he could see how I interact with people etc. Or atleast just dance. But no. I sat at a table by myself listening to the music. Several people asked me if I was having a good time. I said yes. I don't think they believed me.

If you do what I seem shallow, sad and boring. I am so bad about this.

But then again. I really didn't know anyone. And I am not used to meeting people.

1. move around
2. smile
3. talk
4. laugh
5. be alive

You may not ever get another chance. We know this.

You want them to look at you from across the room and see you smiling and laughing. They want to see this too.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Orphan Summer Survival

My 4th of July was okay. I stayed in. I was bored most of the day. I regretted not getting more ice cream and comic books. But I spent time on and chatted with some friends on there. I got to see some fireworks from my porch/balcony. I didn't get too lonely. It was nice.

I have been very busy. I hope to post some more stuff soon. I just made a car payment and I am still not quite at half way on my car payment.

I have some nice ideas for future posts. Plus some summer tips. We don't have anymore holidays for a while which should be nice. But remember to stay out of the heat. People tend to get into car accidents a lot more in July. Its really hot and a lot of people are out. Try using a fan instead of the air conditioner. It will save you money. :)

Friday, July 2, 2010

Tips for Orphans on the 4th of July

July 4th is Indepenance Day in the USA. Lots of people get drunk. So I stay at home to stay safe. If you don't have any friends to hang out with on the 4th here are some things you can do to stay safe and chill:

1. Stock up on snacks. Get some hot dogs and ice cream.

2. Stay at home. Lots of drunk drivers out there. So stay home and away from idiots.

3. Get some movies to watch.

4. Watch fireworks from them on tv or on or maybe from your window if you are lucky.

5. Just relax. Most people get to go home early on the 4th. Just chill and be glad the USA is pretty cool.

6. Treat yourself. Last year I stopped by the store on the way home and got some teas. YAY! Wear your pajamas and just relax.

This weekend I got some hotdogs and tea. I hope to relax. I did hear some fireworks going off a few days ago at a local church. It did freak me out. It freaked me out cus I want to go out there and enjoy the fireworks with friends and family...but I have none. So I just go on Twitter and Youtube. See what other people are doing in other cities etc. I know it can really hurt remembering the old times when mom and I would go to see the fireworks. I remember so many. We went to a different place each time. And she would buy me glow sticks etc. But just try to chill. And next year try to plan ahead and hang with some friends. And buy some fireworks.