Sunday, July 11, 2010

Orphan Weddings

orphan weddings & orphan attendance at other people's weddings

This is a suggested topic. First of all I recently HAD to attend a wedding. I usually don't cus I get jealous easily and its family type event. But it was my bosses daughters wedding.

Most people cry at weddings. But I cried for a different reason. Knowing I will never have a father to walk me down the isle. No family on my side of the church. And also my aunt has really ruined my social life and I may never get married. I try to avoid weddings. I say I only attend funerals. Which is funny cus I have never been to a funeral either.

the good thing about attending a friends wedding is...if you ever get married you can ask them to be a part of it.

I really didn't want to attend that wedding. But my bosses boss said it would be inappropriate. Well she doesn't know that I am an orphan. Its funny cus every time she is mean to me a relative of hers gets sick or dies.

I know as a female orphan I may never have a normal wedding if at all. An orphan male needs no family members to have a wedding. He uses his brides as far as I know.

But for a female orphan there is no father to walk us down the isle and no mother to help plan. It sucks. Personally I will elope. I will just get legally married and run away with him. Screw weddings. Its a waste of money. Too much stress too. Plus there is just a lot about weddings I don't know about since I have no family.

If you are an orphan female and still want to have a wedding. I suggest you try to get friends to help.

I know its just lame. You wake up every damn morning and remember that you are an orphan and that things are different for you. Just remember that just cus someone has a wedding doesn't mean that they are loved, it doesn't mean that it will last, and it doesn't mean that they are better than you. Most of the time it doesn't mean anything. Its really sucks when an orphan goes through a divorce too. No family to move back to. Look out for yourself and don't be dependent on others.

A wedding is just a wedding. They come and go. But being loved doesn't cost anything and it lasts. Or at least its supposed to.


shn525 said...

Interesting post. I just got married myself. Like a week ago. I never really thought about it as I was never really a weddings-and-babies type of girl, but it was on my terms. Myself, himself, two witnesses from the hotel, and the sun, sand, and alm trees of Antigua. No rings, no name changes, barefoot, and in hot pink. It rocked.

I know a more traditional route is for some people and that, like any family event, it's tough, but my sister walked her own damn self down the aisle, and I was never more proud of her in my life.

I know the events society tells us are the "biggies" (graduations, childbirths, weddings, etc.) may have some sort of pall over them, but really only if we let them. I can honestly say as I recited my vows, I was thinking of the man in my life, how excited and happy I was, and the amazing locale. It may sound cold but "dead parents" didn't enter my mind once, except for the warm reminder that my mother also didn't wear white (she rocked a mint green polyester mini-dress).

I totally take your point. I've had intense bouts of bitterness/resentment but as I round the track towards 30 years of age, maybe I'm mellowing a bit. (Ask me again when the next customer chit-chats about crying herself to sleep over the WHOLE SUMMER she had to spend away from her parents!...)

Anyway, I really enjoy the posts and the fact that you're out there. People conveniently forget that orphans also exist outside of countries they couldn't place on a map at gunpoint.

Abhorel said...

My father died before I was born and my mother abandoned me at thirteen. Not before having five other kids, though. Shortly after she left my step-dad, father of my siblings, died. I raised them and they left me.

My boyfriend told me just the other day that he plans on marrying me, that he wants me to have a big wedding to make up for everything I didn't have, but I'm so afraid. Since I'm mixed race, my mother's family will not associate with me. I have no one. His whole family will be there. They all love him and like me a lot, but I'm so afraid they won't when they see what a nobody I am. I know they'd hate me if I didn't allow this ceremony. He's the only son of his father and the oldest grand child. Maybe I can just get spoiled, have fun, and just let my man be on my side.

We're kinda lucky. We only have to love who we choose to love. It just sucks around holidays.

Chelsea said...

To Abhorel
Just follow your bliss and make wise decisions! Have fun. You are lucky to have your man and the support of his family. You enjoy that! Best wishes!