Thursday, July 15, 2010

Fear of Sabotaging Relationships

Suggested post. Lately I have been trying to get relationships to work out by not telling too much about my orphanhood. Of course I fear rejection and ruining things. We have learned that relationships are vital.

Everyone should try their best to keep the relationship alive but if it isn't worth it then don't bother.

I have always wanted to believe that I could be loved for who I am and not have to try to be loved by looking a certain way or talk a certain way etc. I don't think its true anymore. Everyone is so fake and picky.

But if I become fake to have someone love me then I won't be happy.

If someone isn't gonna love you for who you are then forget them. You should be able to be yourself if you want. But keep in mind that some people may not want someone who has a mullet or plays video games all the time. In every relationship there is some compromise.

I guy shouldn't break up with me cus my mom is dead or I have googly eyes on my phone or cus I like cartoons. But if I am bitchy or lazy I understand him not wanting me.

I think one of the most important things about relationships is to calm down. Don't freak out even if there is a break up.

Its normal to care about a relationship and keeping someone but it becomes a problem when we freak out when we think it may end. Then we show signs of being clingy and desperate and then the relationship does end.

With each breakup you learn. I have learned to not bitch, be positive, don't always talk about dead people, don't move in with him too soon, make sure he doesn't have anger problems, don't believe him when he says I love you, don't tell him everything about you, make sure he isn't married etc.

Its not good to be completely dependant on having a relationship with someone. You must be independant. Take care of yourself or someone may take advantage of you.

I don't have all the answers in this area. I am still working on this area of my life. I can only give small bits of advice.

Clam down, don't freak out and try to think things through. Be independant and look out for yourself. Think logically when there is a problem in a relationship. Don't make 5 million phone calls. Don't cry, don't drink, do turn to drugs, don't think suicide. Be yourself. Then you will be confident and happy and then people will want to stay with you. Do you really want to spend your whole life trying to be "perfect"? Life is too damn short and we orphans have already been through too much crap and drama.

Don't be clingy. Be able to spend sometime apart. Show that you are emotionally stable. Spending time apart makes the two of you want to be together more. Its called missing someone. Crying makes you look emotionally unstable. Just chill.

Feel free to comment and I will start on a part 2 if need be. Fear of commitment is coming soon.

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