Saturday, August 14, 2010

An Orphans thoughts on God...and religion

We each live different lives. Some lives tend to have a higher demand for God while other lives tend to find God useless. When things go fine in ones life they never tend to think about God. But then when things go wrong we either get mad at God or ask Him for help.

I'm sure we all also wonder why God lets shit happen in this world.

Here are my thoughts on God and religion:

I think I knew that mom was gonna die. At a very young age I asked mom how the grow ups survive? How do they pay all those bills? She said that I shouldn't worry..that it won't happen for a long time. Well, she was wrong. I had dreams about mom dying before she was even diagnosed. I think that proves that there are more spiritual things going on that we even realize. And that there is God and spirits and more than just science in this world.

No matter what happens I refuse to be mad at God. I will wait until I die and then ask "what was all that?" Hopefully He will have a completely logical explanation. If He doesn't...then I will be upset. But I don't think it is possible for God to create a human that thinks more logically than He. So if I think that there must be some reason behind all this...then God must think so too. How could God be more stupid than I am. A creator cannot create something greater than the creator.

I never really thought about God before mom died. After mom died I moved in with Christian relatives. I think with Christianity there are two parts...there is the acting, dressing, taking etc like a Christian. (the Christian lifestyle if you will) and then there is the "you and God" part. No matter how hard I tried to say the right words or dress a certain way...the Christians still didn't accept me. they still said I was evil and has evil spirits etc. Finally after years or trying I realized a lot of Christians are crazy. They do not think for themselves. They are stuck in their own world. How could they call me a whore when I was a virgin? How could I be going to hell for liking boys? Its all just a game of keeping up appearances. They need to read between the lines when they read the Bible. But what is most important is the other part....the "you and God" part. Who cares about what people think? They haven't been what you have been through. God knows though. God knows if I an a whore or not. If God thinks I am a whore fine. God knows your heart. Those fake Christians don't. Just because your parents are dead doesn't mean you are going to hell.

I still talk and pray to God. He is all I have. He isn't anything like those judging hateful Christians. The Christians can't help you. God can.

I wasted so much time trying to please the Christians. I should have just been myself and known that God accepts me no matter what. God have us all our own choices. If we were meant to be prefect he wouldn't have given us freedom of choice and He wouldn't have had Jesus die for our mistakes.

Trust no one except God. He has hlped me when I had no electricity. I emailed my aunt to pray for me and she never replied. But I prayed to God and everything was taken care of.

Its like how we can't see our parents anymore...but we know they exist in some other form otherwise how would we be here. They were once alive and brought us into this world. We can't see God but He must exist somewhere in some form. We have faith that our parents are somewhere and we have faith that God is somewhere.

And things take time. When you order fries at a restaurant they take time to cook. When you pray it takes time for things to get into order. Everything takes time. Everything. Nothing is instantaneous. So try not to get mad at God. If people were more caring, then our tragedies wouldn't be as difficult. THings are difficult in life because people don't care about others in pain. If everyone tried to help everyone then pain and problems would be irrelevant. And then there is no point is being mad at God.

Maybe thats why bad things happen...because if people would be more caring then it would be okay. But that fact that people don't care makes life so much more difficult when bad things happen. Maybe God lets bad things happen in hopes of people reaching out and helping those in need. Like maybe God let my mom go so I can write thing blog and help others. And then you can help others. God didn't want to create humanity and have it become evil and useless. We are so much more capable.

So screw religion..its just a game of keeping up appearances.
Don't get mad at God until that last minute.
Help others.
Think for yourself.
God knows one else really knows you except you and Him.

Hope this helped you guys.


Laneth said...

Hi Chelsea,

I've been reading for a little while now and felt that, with this post and the last, I needed to comment.

Firstly, I empathise with your situation after your mother died; your living with such unsupportive people. That would have been so hard, I cannot imagine.

My own story is different to yours in that my mother is still alive. This does not change the fact that my father died and my mother and step-father made my life a living hell until I was kicked out of home at 17. The ten years since have been really hard without family, as you would know, with them still trying to be in my life but still treating me so badly.

I hope you will not see me as someone 'with family' because I truly am not. My journey over the past decade is being retold over at my blog "It Takes 10 Years To Become An Orphan" - I don't expect you to read, but I shall be reading yours and am happy to have found someone who has felt and feels what I do.

Your past, though different in many ways, is still very similar to mine and that alone makes me feel like there's someone that understands from a personal point-of-view.

As for religion? That is, indeed, a very personal thing and having others control or force another view onto you is just not on. Hold true to what you know is true, and you'll be fine.

Anonymous said...

You seem to understand the gist of "Christians" and as you call it "two parts." I don't really participate in Christian groups, though I would like to, but I don't like the acting and faking part. God is better than people. He is truly all we can have in this life, and I'm glad you hold on to Him and try not to be mad at Him. Sometimes people suffer consequences of other people's actions, good or bad. That's free will. God allows it, we control lives but we're not living in heaven (yet).